A Study in Pink » The Reichenbach Fall
Things I have learned about myself recently:
I absolutely CANNOT listen to End Duet/Transformation from the 1994 Cast Recording of Beauty and the Beast while driving. Why can’t I listen to this beautiful piece of Broadway while cruising down the highway? Because it makes me feel all the feelings, and in feeling all the feelings makes me cry….and I’m not talking single tear of beauty cry….no I’m talking about unredeemable UGLY crying. Tears-streaming-down-my-face- blotchy- red-puffy-cheeks-type of crying. How do I know this? It happened, well almost happened, today. Luckily I stopped the feels before they could be felt, but I felt them coming on while I watched Belle (Susan Egan) holding a dying Beast (Terrence Mann) in her arms while telling him that she loved him -which means I FELT ALL THE FEELS -and it would’ve been extremely inappropriate to break down at that red light for that reason so I changed the song. I SAVED MYSELF, okay? I did what I had to do.
So lesson learned, I will not be listening to that song while driving anytime soon. It’s just not safe for humanity.
**Same can also be said for: If Can’t Love Her from the same soundtrack, because that one legitimately happened as well and it wasn’t okay.**
My theatre family, that is, and I nearly bawled my eyes out when I saw them before they walked. There’s something about a cap and gown, no matter how ridiculous the cap (ahem, Andy), that automatically makes a person appear more mature. There’s something beautiful about seeing a group of kids, that you’ve been with for the last four years, actually ready (or at least semi-ready) to embark on the final frontiere. They all looked so beautiful, so mature, and so poised for their commencement that I almost feel bad about crying in front of them.
It’s the hardest to see Alicia go though, I’m not even going to front about that. She and Jade -who carried the department banner! -were amongst my first and greatest friends in the department. And while it’s definitely hard to see Jade go, seeing Alicia go fucking makes me feel all the feelings. I’ve been through so much with the girl, from accidental friendship - our first adventure together getting to the Mark Taper our freshman year -, to living together our sophomore year - which was monumentally disastrous in it’s own right -, to falling apart, and eventually falling back into the beautiful relationship we both have come to this year - supporting each other, troofing, being there for each other when no one else could be there, and everything in between. We’ve been through it all girl. You’re one of the greatest friends I’ve ever had, and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. You have one of the most amazing tenacious and vivacious spirits, you’re the strongest woman I know, you’re intelligence and perception are unparalleled, and to top it all off you’re just the most gorgeous human being I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing (inside and out). I’m sad that you’re not going to be two steps away from me anymore, but I’m so excited for you to embark on the next leg of your journey - which is why I feel all the feelings, SO MANY FEELS- but I just want to remind you, and I’ll continue to do this well into our old age, that, “You are stronger than you know, smarter than you think, and more beautiful than you could ever imagine. And that I am both blessed and charmed to know you.” Thank you for letting me into your world. You’re one of a kind, baby.
So to Alicia, Jade, Andy, Abbie, Andrew, Eric, Robert, Chandra, Dylan, Alma, Melissa, Grace, Jorge, Jessica, LaCretia, David, and Daniel. Congratulations Guys, you fucking did it and I am so incredibly proud of you and I’m going to miss the hell out of [most] of you. :P
I know this isn’t goodbye, but so long is just as bittersweet. So, so long dear comrades, I hope to see you on the battlefields of theatre very soon, and I wish you the sweetest and best of journeys to your destinations ♥.
[Left to right: Scott Robinson (Jeff),.Kiersten Tanopo (Susan), Allison Mayo (Mary), Me (Heidi), and Mauricio Soto (Hunter)]
My beautiful [title of show] cast with our monkey counterparts!
Tonight was one of most amazing shows, and most amazing closing nights, to recent memory and I’m more than lucky to have shared out with these beautiful people. While I wish it, didn’t have to end, at least it ended on the most kickass of ways.
And the biggest then you to our amazing technical crew and designers! We really couldn’t have done it without you, especially our awesome stage manager: Alicia, Santos!
So in the immortal words of, ” Die, Vampire, Die!”: “Fuck you Miss Johnson! Word!”
Every last one of them. Fuck you Florence, I thought we were bros, but bros don’t make bros have ALL the feels at once. That’s just inconsiderate. Fuck you and your awesome music.
It’s weird, I’ve hated almost every part of this process (because it’s basically killed me a lot of ways), but all of this is now hitting me in the most surreal of ways (and I want to cry?):
So despite all the mishaps, tantrums, and foils this process has brought, I still can’t believe it happened. More importantly I realized what I really value in people, actors, and technicians; furthermore I have the absolute utmost respect for the process as a whole that I cannot even explain in human language. For all it’s worth, I am truly blessed to have this experience - what an experience it has been.
this takes me back to 8th grade, sitting in front of our TV in the living room, super close to the screen, rocking back and forth whispering please kiss please kiss please kiss
and then when they finally did, running around my house in celebration
what? BtVS gives me so many feels.
^ THIS. All of this was me.