I wish to become a burrito of malcontent and sadness. I wish to dive deep into the worlds of Netflix (or movies in general) and Sherlock and never return to this “adult world”, it’s vastly more disappointing than previously advertised to me. I wish to become a recluse, and just live in the worlds in my head - reading, writing, and engaging in the world of cinema and theatre. I wish to no longer deal with people - especially those who are horridly unreliable and pretty much consistently fuck up, even though you’ve given them countless chances to be anything other than what they are. I wish to be anything other than adult - maybe a bird or a faerie would suit me better -, and just constantly play tricks on, or poop on people, who do/wish me harm. O to live in any other world than this, with any other set of people than this, to have any other set of given circumstances than this, to be anyone but this child with an old soul trapped in the body of an “adult”. I feel trapped, but I know I’m not ready to break free (but eventually I have to, right?).
This is my scared face. Why am I making this face? Because I just started scheduling [title of show] rehearsals for next quarter and it’s going to be a NIGHTMARE. Thank God I have talented/capable actors who are wholly committed to the project or I’d be fucked.